I think keeping track of personal thoughts and experiences is essential to knowing how magnificent the life we lead really is. Me with my terrible memory especially need some sort of record to remind myself of how much fun I am having in life. I received a facebook message the other day from a friend of a friend who has been keeping track of my blog. Crazy, right? She said that she has enjoyed reading about my experiences and that I should think of making them into a book one of these days. This is a fantasy of mine, a published author. However, I do not find my entries interesting enough to publish, well unless someone wanted to help fund the publication….then along with the hundreds of books on my bookshelf, one would be my very own personal story.
Now that I am confronted with the knowledge that people besides my mom and sister are reading my entries, I feel a bit of pressure to be more interesting. And also to post more entries here on my virtual podium.
Going back to my point on recording events in my life; before I started this blog I never wrote anything down. I don’t like to write, it is not one of my gifts. But now that I have been keeping track I have found that I feel much more present in my life. For me, this is the most important feeling a human being can have. To feel present in ones life. I have a deep fear of being stuck and bored. I see people everyday walking around being stuck in their lives as if they did not have a choice but to be on that path. At my age, the “path” I should be on is looking for an adequate husband with good genes to father my children that will be on the way 5 months after marriage. Sorry but I have a huge problem with this scenario. And I have a huge issue with the fact that so many girls of my age have already nailed down a husband and have started the rest of their lives at such a young age. I have the rest of my life (if I choose) to be married with children. Side note: Yes, I do want to find my other half and make babies one day. That day not being in the near future, I find my self to be highly critical towards those who have decided to start this adventure so early in life. I think finding a life companion and sharing adventures together(like child birth) is one of the most natural and beautiful events we have left in our world. A world full of new technologies and wonders and still all us humans really crave to attain is love and making love. However, I admit to have been on the prowl for a husband before, which concluded in heartbreak, months and months of heartbreak. Which in turn prompted for more heartbreak, because I was a heartbroken female starving for love and finding it in all the wrong places. I would like to say that I have passed this phase in my life, but I can not fully say that I have. However I am in a new place in my life. A place without a man. I have reached a place that when my thoughts run away from me, they are not running towards memories of a lost lover, but of what I want to do with my spare time when I find it. Finish reading that article, finish researching that cause, go for a bike ride, walk to the center….. No thoughts of “if only I would have said that or if only I would have been a little nicer.” Thank God for freedom.
( I completely just strolled away from my main point)
Everyday should be a new adventure of sorts….. I challenge myself a little everyday and that keeps me going.
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