My first official post on my first official attempt at staying connected with everyone who has access to the web. I have never been the type to record my inner thoughts in a journal or ever wanted to post a blog about them, but seeing how I need to be some what organized about my thoughts and concerns as I get older, this seems to be a very modern and easy way to do just that. I do not write poetry when my heart gets broken or jot down lyrics to songs when I am feeling blue, however I do confide in my closest friends and some times random companions at the local bars when I have something on my mind. (So, really what is the difference?) Yet I have noticed that my random thoughts can catch the unsuspecting person off guard if they assume my outside matches my inside.As of now, I have spent 6 months living in Italy. Just this sentence alone can send anyone into a wild and crazy chase through their imaginations. Searching for images of Coliseums, Tuscan hillsides, acres of hazy vineyards, etc... And I would like to say that that is exactly what it has been for me. However this would be a lie and my new years resolution was to stop telling fibs. To me Italy has been played up by countless movies and tourist brochures. I am sure that Italy is everything and more of what people proclaim it to be, yet still, that is not my Italy. My Italy is amazing though,to say the least.This past January I decided to do something different. I had been in Savannah, Ga for almost 3 years of college and (to me) have nothing to show for it. (Besides a few really close friends, college credit and countless failed attempts at love.) I wanted to get out of the life style I had in that place. My second home, Savannah, was and still is my bitch lover. I changed so much when I was there. I started disregarding my morals and values. I hurt people and stepped on people to get what I wanted. For this I will forever regret, yet I have learned from my mistakes in that place and have moved on....To a new chapter that I have forced open with my decision to move to Italy.One of the easiest decisions I have ever made was to travel here. I knew that I needed to find my own way in this world. I just had to find the right road to get there, even if it did take me around the world and back home again. My thought process during the time of my decision went a little something like this: I am 21 years old and what? What am I going to do? Do I want to continue college without a sense of direction? Do I want to keep depending on my parents to fix everything for me? I have to start a change! I must figure out who I am before it is too late and some one else is telling me what to be. I don't want to get stuck. Stuck in a job I hate. Stuck in a life I hate. Which eventually I would start believing I was happy in (because that is what I do) and then I would get stuck in a fake world that on the outside seemed perfect and put together but some where in side would be a crack that would one day bring down the entire foundation and I would crumble beyond repair.No, this was not acceptable. So I searched for an alternative and found one in a book I had bought my sister years ago when she was in her second year at college. " Delaying reality" was the title of this sneaky little book. I find it quite funny that I bought this book as a joke for my sister and I ended up taking advice from its pages. But fate has a funny way of doing things like that. I found a solution for young adults in their twenties looking to get paid to travel. " Ah ha" Be an au pair for a family in the location of your choice. So wait, I get paid to live in a different country and the only task I have to do in return is play with their children? Excuse me but why don't more people know about this?So the deal was made. And I jumped on a plane in May and never looked back.First, I ventured to Paris to see a beautiful city full of lights and to visit an old friend from college. I made new friends with a Dutch and a strange American from Oregon (of all places) and left the city limits of Paris to see the Palace of Versailles. That evening we decided to roam around my side of Paris and found ourselves at the Eiffel Tower. Adam (Dutch) bought a bottle of champagne and french wine from a vendor under the tower and we sat in the park and watched the light show. (Which I have to add is my favorite memory of Paris, sitting with strangers in the park at night, drinking cheap cheap wine and beholding one of the most magnificent sites made by man, the Eiffel Tower light show. It truly is something magical.) I allowed the two new friends to stay with me in my very small hotel room, however they opted to sleep on my rather large balcony, which seemed to me strange at the time... but who doesn't want to sleep under the stars in Paris?The next morning I was on the train to Milan to start my new life.[Photo]

Check out this link:
http://www.incredibleindia.org/index.asp

India is going to be "incredible".

Finding the main point

I think keeping track of personal thoughts and experiences is essential to knowing how magnificent the life we lead really is. Me with my terrible memory especially need some sort of record to remind myself of how much fun I am having in life. I received a facebook message the other day from a friend of a friend who has been keeping track of my blog. Crazy, right? She said that she has enjoyed reading about my experiences and that I should think of making them into a book one of these days. This is a fantasy of mine, a published author. However, I do not find my entries interesting enough to publish, well unless someone wanted to help fund the publication….then along with the hundreds of books on my bookshelf, one would be my very own personal story.
Now that I am confronted with the knowledge that people besides my mom and sister are reading my entries, I feel a bit of pressure to be more interesting. And also to post more entries here on my virtual podium.
Going back to my point on recording events in my life; before I started this blog I never wrote anything down. I don’t like to write, it is not one of my gifts. But now that I have been keeping track I have found that I feel much more present in my life. For me, this is the most important feeling a human being can have. To feel present in ones life. I have a deep fear of being stuck and bored. I see people everyday walking around being stuck in their lives as if they did not have a choice but to be on that path. At my age, the “path” I should be on is looking for an adequate husband with good genes to father my children that will be on the way 5 months after marriage. Sorry but I have a huge problem with this scenario. And I have a huge issue with the fact that so many girls of my age have already nailed down a husband and have started the rest of their lives at such a young age. I have the rest of my life (if I choose) to be married with children. Side note: Yes, I do want to find my other half and make babies one day. That day not being in the near future, I find my self to be highly critical towards those who have decided to start this adventure so early in life. I think finding a life companion and sharing adventures together(like child birth) is one of the most natural and beautiful events we have left in our world. A world full of new technologies and wonders and still all us humans really crave to attain is love and making love. However, I admit to have been on the prowl for a husband before, which concluded in heartbreak, months and months of heartbreak. Which in turn prompted for more heartbreak, because I was a heartbroken female starving for love and finding it in all the wrong places. I would like to say that I have passed this phase in my life, but I can not fully say that I have. However I am in a new place in my life. A place without a man. I have reached a place that when my thoughts run away from me, they are not running towards memories of a lost lover, but of what I want to do with my spare time when I find it. Finish reading that article, finish researching that cause, go for a bike ride, walk to the center….. No thoughts of “if only I would have said that or if only I would have been a little nicer.” Thank God for freedom.
( I completely just strolled away from my main point)
Everyday should be a new adventure of sorts….. I challenge myself a little everyday and that keeps me going.

Good for the soul

For my second blog entry I wanted to continue where I left off in the first, however, it will take me awhile to record the past 7 months of my European travels and I continue to have adventures and feel that I should record them as they come. My memories of the past few months will eventually be posted but for now to be continued.
This past weekend I ventured to Madrid, Spain to spend a few wonderful days with my best friend, Rachel. She came to Milan for my birthday this past September and we decided to promise to always spend each others birthdays together from here on out. Which I think is a great idea. I think that people need annual plans like these, it keeps life interesting and I will always have travels and adventures to look forward to with one of my favorite people, my wetback. I recently had a very crazy experience with kidney stones of all things…. “Mia prima volta” with this kind of constant pain that shot up my spine and felt like some invisible source was squeezing all the organs on the right side of my body. Moreover, I had to go to the hospital and deal with a huge amount of pain that I could not wish on any one, not even those who I truly dislike. The doctor told me I was not to fly for a few weeks in fear that the stones might pass while I am on the plane…. And the rest is self-explanatory….
Anyhow, this prompted me to tell Rachel that I would be unable to come to Madrid for her 22nd…. When in actuality I had been emailing all of her friends over there to help me plan a surprise visit…. Everyone responded and the plane ticket was bought 2 weeks in advance…. This was going to be the most perfect surprise…. But when it got closer to time ( a day before I was scheduled to fly out) I had a feeling that I should tell Rachel, in fear I would get lost in the city or something odd would happen…. I sent her an email explaining my plans and received a phone call within 2 hours!
In the end, I was more than glad I ruined the surprise….. Rachel had been quite lonely for the past few weeks and not really enjoying her time in Spain…. She was so happy to learn that I would be coming for her birthday, she cried. She cried. When I heard her, I knew that it was time for my best friend skills to kick in… she needed me, and I in return needed her.
In my mind, I could not get out of Italy soon enough. On the plane, I had a warm fuzzy feeling that made a smile magically appear on my face. Not only was I taking my first vacation away from the family I work for after 7 months, but I was going to explore Rachel’s Madrid, with Rachel.
It was an amazing weekend. Even with my insecurities and her drama carried over from the states, these minor glitches could never ruin what makes me and rae, me and rae. What I love about our friendship is that we do not judge each other, we of course recognize each others flaws but know that they don’t makes us who we are. We accept and move on. We don’t try to fix each other because we realize (because we are both strong individuals) that the fixin’ process will happen in its own time, no need to force a learning experience and an opportunity to be stronger as an individual. Rachel makes me stronger, however. While I have been in Italy I have realized that I have lost that spunk that makes me who I am. I will always be quirky in my own way…. But because I do not have a reason to really socialize like I would in the states…. My personality has become dull and muted, in my opinion. Seeing Rachel, I came back to life…. It only took a few hours, but I was back. I had forgotten what my personality was like. Rachel makes me shine and I could only hope that I make her shine brighter.
We went all over Madrid! Saw many important things and a few not so important except to us. For example, we strolled around Sol. The center of Madrid with beautiful plazas with amazing statues of important figures on horses. Then we searched for a unique museum for the blind. An off the beaten path place in a not so noticeable building, where visitors could touch the art inside its walls. And we touched everything, from paintings created by blind artist, to miniature replicas of famous buildings from around the world. I really enjoyed the idea of this place. I wish we would have blind folded ourselves and felt our way around. Because we are not blind we are visual stimulated and visually this place was rather dull, cute, but nothing special. But I believe that we would have had an amazing experience if we took away our sight…. Next time I come across a similar museum, I will take away the gift of site and explore the world.
For Rachel’s birthday dinner, we ( including a few of Rachel’s friends in Spain) went and had Tapas (I could feel our star power coming back). Then to Gula Gula, a dinner show of sorts, with the best show on earth in our opinion, DRAG QUEENS! I will always be rather bias when it comes to this genera of performance due to my years and fondness of Savannah and its gay community, but this was fun and I enjoyed the hard bodies of the naked men running around dancing to ABBA. I got it on video, believe it or not. After a rather invigorating show and much needed gawking at naked bodies, we went to a club and danced the night and morning away.
I am proud to say that this was the only night we went drinking, times have changed and for this I am thankful. I use to be an absolute drunk. However, I am still aggressive towards rudeness when I drink, which is a quality I enjoy about my self and my drinking habits…. Being rude in a scene where everyone is trying to have fun and enjoy the company of others is unacceptable in my mind. And I will start a fight to have peace…. Or at least use a few choice words…. Which gives me a thrill… one day I will start a fight and Rachel has said she will jump in and join… I hope when ever this night comes some one will take pictures ( and there be an ambulance near the scene, of course) We are spit fires…
Rachel and I covered a lot of ground, literally and figuratively. Many things were put into perspective on my visit…. And I have decided that I will join Rachel in Spain for a few months when I am done here. What an adventure to live with my best friend in another country. We also decided to back pack through India. We are so serious about this that we bought matching bracelets from an Indian merchant in a global market as a reminder of our friendship (they were out of gold heart necklaces with the broken words “best friend”) and to make a pack or sorts to travel to India and explore its wonders…. I can not wait to be there…. I have always dreamed of India….I feel that I am meant to travel there ( I am positive I will have a separate blog on this subject).
In conclusion, my world is a better place because of Rachel.