I found the money to go to Nicaragua. Out of the kindness of my mother’s sweet little heart, she forked over 1700 dollars for her 23 year old daughter to venture to a foreign country. A trip that I am not making to improve myself or find myself, but a trip to scale volcanoes, swim in crystal clear lagoons, and drink my fill of rum every night to help sooth my body from a long day of adventure. Selfish, yeah…. Just a little. But it will be a well needed break from the god-awful hum drum of the everyday, soap-opera type stuff that goes on in Thomasville, GA. Am drowning here….the only thing saving me is my musical, and a guy. (yeap, there’s a new one) Am going to relationship karma hell…but I can’t help it. I like to surround myself with people all the time. Its not an issue… I can spend time alone…. Meditate….clear my head… but it is so nice to have someone to just bum around with…. Sit in the same room and study different subjects… argue over favorite condiments…discuss different variations of wearing a baseball cap…. Haha. I didn’t mean to crush on him…. But I felt guilty after he almost died in a car accident because of me, so I kept inviting him to hang out or kept texting him… and I fell into the habit of always talking to him…. And I like talking to him all the time… whether that constitutes as a healthy relationship or no… I really don’t care… after my recent heart break… I could not care less… I am doing what makes me happy…. Damn the dating rules and regulations….Rob makes me happy… so I will continue to hang out with him till we stop.

There are complications though. We have very different personality types. For example he is serious about almost everything and I am serious about nothing…. Hmmm… I am really into astrology today….so I think to best describe how Rob and I work…. I will have to give you our zodiac signs and compatibility….its actually dead on… if funny….I am a true Libra and he is a Scorpio……….

“As far as emotions are concerned, Scorpio takes the lead over the Libra. His emotions run much deeper and are much more intense. Whenever a Libran gets involved in a love relationship, he always maintains a little distance and aloofness. The possessiveness, which is a part of the Scorpion profile, does not occur anywhere in a Libran relationship. The former needs to feel one with his partner, while the latter needs some space and freedom. At the same time, the balanced attitude of a Libra can very well stabilize the extremism of a Scorpio.

However, the objectivity of a Libran may, at times, annoy a Scorpio, whose too much passion may disturb the former. Both the individuals are romantic to the core and love to shower attention on their partner. The chemistry in this zodiac match will be great and the attraction strong. The Scorpion needs to control his feelings of too much jealousy and possessiveness and the Libran needs to show some less aloofness and this relationship can work wonders. Both the individuals complement each beautifully and make up for the weak points in one another.” (Is it strange that I feel the need to cite this? Should I? Well its in quotations so it is obviously not mine…..I will resist)

Okay, so you get what I am throwing at you…. I know it may be super lame to rely on a horoscope to find love…. But this one is so on the head of nail…. And if it is something I believe in….then that’s me.

BUT I am not saying here that I think he is the one, no not at all, he is too young and I am at an age where if I make the decision to date someone it will be with someone for the long haul or the attempt for it…. Am also not saying that I want to get married asap…. But I have never been in a long term relationship… to where the infatuation has ended and the couple is left with love and comfort… I came so close to this in my past relationship….I think that’s why I became so heartbroken… the person I trusted with everything…. Threw it back in my face and left me for another……on Valentine’s Day…. I had to move out of their house that night and they moved the other girl in the next day…. I sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t I? I don’t hate either of them now….I don’t wish bad things for them…. And hope they are finally truly happy.

Anyway, that’s a different entry, that may never be written, I have experienced great love in my life, the kind people dream of… and that relationship was everything, fairy tale/soft porn/travel narrative…. It was perfection in my eyes when I was in it…. But I am glad that I find myself saying, “Thank God I am out of that!” ( ok, am really finished talk about it)

So back to Rob, not my type, however personalities are compatible….. I wish he cared as much about studying and classes as he does about baseball…supposedly he is fantastic at baseball… but I have never seen him play… he has been red shirted for the entire season due to something in his shoulder… he is all better now….so next season… if he can deal with his damn frustrations…we shall see if he is a hot shot or not…

Okay… So Nicaragua! I leave next week… so soon. My dad woke me up this morning by asking me if I can get Evacuation Insurance… so if I get sick or if I fall off a mountain, they can put me in a helicopter and evacuate me. Hahaha…. My dad… you have to love him….i just nodded my head and rolled over and went back to sleep until it dawned on me what he had said…. He is going to Africa over the summer so he is very gung-ho about all the roughing it and toughing it survival stuff….and add that to the type of movies most men watch about wars and worst-case scenarios coming true…. Reaches my dad to the conclusion about a dramatic airlift to a helicopter that will fly me to safety… well I think its funny…

Whirlwind......

The past few weeks have been jam packed with with too much to do and me not being able to manage my time well enough to get everything done with out being stressed out. But the beauty of my procrastination is that I have luck, and with luck, everything falls into place and life is a breeze. Its almost not fair how easy and enjoyable my life is ( Not to rub that in). Everything has been smooth sailing since my recent break up. I was heart broken....heart ripped out of my chest. Worst pain Ive ever encountered internally. But one day, it just stopped and I moved on. I made myself the most important person in my life. I became selfish and intend to stay such for awhile. So Ive thrown myself into too many hobbies: Ive taken on a role in a musical at a local theater, singing in a Jazz ensemble affiliated with Thomas University. (my drummer is so hot), school, and trips to Savannah! ( Savannah: bitch lover, remember?). And maybe a trip out of the country.... maybe.... am having trouble finding the money...$1700. I tried to take out my very first personal loan to be able to afford the trip, but I had no idea that it was going to be so difficult to do so. I have established credit but not long enough for me to be considered a desirable candidate for a loan. I kinda dont know what to do.... Beg my dad.... thats not right... I am suppose to be finding my financial independence from my family and if I some how borrow this much money, that just puts me in a place I do not want to be in. I will keep you posted, hopefully I can talk Dad into paying. Keep your fingers crossed for me. oh lordy...i really want to go! I hope there is a way to pull this off. I need to get out of America for a short bit. Hike a few mountains, volcanoes.... drink rum.

I really loved this song. Its Italian. Enjoy:)

The first few line in this song going something like this... You are in trouble with me.... Because I woke up and found that you were watching "POP PORNO" ! The guy in the video is hot:)

I am jumping around again with my blogs. Sorry. I just wanted to throw this out there. I am thinking about moving back to Savannah:) I think it is a great idea, but it might have to wait until after I graduate from Thomas University. I want to work in promotional advertising and Tourism. I think this would be the most perfect job for me!

Just a few things I have been playing around with. I will start publishing my photos. Why take them if I am not going to share them?

More to come (hour till class)

My apologize, I have not written in over a year. Tragically, nothing that entertaining has really happened since I moved back to Thomasville. So I guess this newest entry shall be a year in reflection.
Today’s date is the 6th of April 2010. I believe I arrived on American soil the 21st of April 2010. Almost a full year home. I remember being constantly homesick when I was abroad. Well I got what I wished for and it has been bitter more than sweet. Thomasville is one of those amazing special southern towns that are far and few between, but to those who call it home, the world, the planets, and all the stars revolve around our town.
It has been great to be home and find some sort of center. But I think the time is approaching to move on. Maybe back to Savannah? I went this past weekend for a random trip. A trip that began as one thing and became another. I went to visit an ex, that I have honestly have never gotten over our relationship nor our break-up. And I felt after years of not being in contact that the wounds might have been healed for both parties. Not at all. I just slit them open again. Everything was fine when I first arrived at his house, then it was as if with the passing of the hours I was there, it began to dawn on him that my presents was a disturbance in the regularity of his day to day. That he was being reminded of why he had loved me and what I had done to break him, and he kept me at arms length the rest of my time there. It was almost heart breaking for me to see the consequences of my actions 3 years ago still present. I wanted to get out of Savannah ASAP.
But a find from the past called and asked me to stay. And I enjoyed the rest of my time. Sitting out on the dock looking over the marsh, playing fetch with his dog, going on to Tybee for a few drinks and an unexpected Tarot card reading from the local drunk I love Savannah.