When I think of home, I think of a place where there is LOVE over flowing...

Yes, I still miss home. I belive I have something around 50 days left...8 weeks or so... It is coming fast. I am ready to leave Italy. However, I still cant speak this damn language... I eventually will have to, damnit.

I hate this part right here...

Today I am so sad, so home sick that I feel physically sick to my stomach! I dont know what it is... I think now that I have found a source of happiness here in Italy, Stefano, that I am constantly reminded of how unhappy I am here. This just isnt my life and it is no fun helping others live their lives while deep inside I am starting to hate them because of it. And it is not their fault... It is not like I voice my unhappiness to them... I barely show it.... I just want to be home....This weekend should be better. I have a long weekend due to the fact that I am going to Ivrea for Carnival. I was really excited about that and I guess I still am... just the unhappiness is shutting everything down. Like I have said in a previous entry.. I am a very content person... but when i do get sad... i get sad about everything. Nothing can help this saddness... i think it is here for good until I get off the plan in Atlanta in April and see my dad.
Things with Stef are fine... and I love him but even he cant make my home sickness go away. He makes me happy but I need to be home and nothing can replace that.
So all my applications for the universities in London are finished... it only took me about a week and a half to get everything in order.. now it is just time for waiting... which i can deal with... but now i have nothing to occupy my thoughts and time...so i am going a little crazy over here in Italy! HELP!

Planning ahead...

I have decided to attend university in London for the next year or however long it takes me to finish. New Adventures! As of now, I am only applying to 2 different universities over there. Both are American affilated so my credits will transfer over from the states. I am very confident in my decision to stay abroad. I miss my hometown but it will always be there. I miss my family, but I know that I have to learn to be independant and they will always support me. I am happy.